Three stoic women and millions on march

I was planning on not watching the inauguration of the 45th president of the United States of America. Because the only thing that would get to that man is low ratings. But of course I had to be present in the historic moment no matter how sad and bad. Or because of the sad and bad, if you will. So I spent the entire Friday with CNN. I cried for many reasons. And although people are marching in millions all over this weekend, I feel hung over, sad and bad. Might writing about it work as a detox?

I don’t know where to start. All those pictures flickering by. The peak through the window of Obama one last time bent over his desk before leaving the Oval Office. The Obamas gracefully greeting the Trumps on the White House front step. The split screen showing Barak Obama and Donald Trump leaving the White House for the Capitol in the car together meanwhile Hillary Clinton, defeated by the two of them, on the other screen is entering the Capitol. Poor young Baron Trump so uncomfortable in his own skin loosening up towards the evening figuring out it’s fun waving to people. 

Donald Trump’s horrible, embarrassing and terrifying inauguration speech. Barak Obamas “Good job” to him at the end of the adress. The Obamas at the helicopter taking them out of Washington while the new first and second couples waiving at them from the Capitol stairs, a scene signaling to everyone all is well, this is a change but we will all be okay.

I think I want to stop at the first image for a moment. One of the traditions of  the Inauguration Day is for the incoming president couple (yes, anything else is unprecedented) to have tea in the White House with the outgoing president couple in the morning. The Obamas were waiting at the front door. Michelle wearing a discrete maroon dress as well as discrete heals. Brushing off her husbands shoulders, an everyday gesture accompanying her dress at the door step of their home.

Donald and Melania Trump climbs out of the car and walk up the few steps. The first lady to be, exquisite in a light blue Ralph Lauren dress, jacket, gloves and astonishing high heals. The president to be in a too long red tie. President Obama welcoming them with a how do you do and a kiss on the cheek to Melania. Melania stretches her hand for Michelle to greet her, but Michelle reaches out for a welcoming hug to her successor. 

The two couples find their positions for the photo op and Michelle is sure to with her body language all along make Melania as comfortable as possible. Before she is hosting the last event in her home and workplace since eight years back. Before she an hour later leaves that home and mission. The place that five hours ahead will have been transformed to the home of Melania and her husband.

Watching this make my eyes tear up. Melania Trump must have been so scared for this day. And Michelle Obama knows this. Very few first ladies choose their title. They follow their husbands. And with all that’s said and done from Donald Trump against Barak Obama and his and the first lady’s presidency, at this point they are putting that aside welcoming them with kindness, grace and dignity on their new and unfamiliar territory. That’s truly being human beings.

And as this day of course (for now) features the men as main characters I want to stay with the women. Because apart from the welcoming for the tea ceremony, there were not many smiles from Michelle Obama during the ceremonies. And it wasn’t until the parade in the evening that Melania Trump lightened up. But then there was the third woman.

For Hillary Clinton the inauguration of the 45th president must have been one of the toughest days in her life, and she has had a few. She wasn’t required to accompany her husband as one of the first ladies during the ceremonies, but she chose to go through with the day to honor the democracy and it’s enduring values. She even offered a smile now and then.

There were three stoic first ladies facing the people, the cameras and the world on Inauguration Day. Melania Trump, brave in her fear and insecurity for this new life and mission she has not asked for, and probably suffering from those stilettos on the Capitol stairs. Michelle Obama, brave in putting a good face on although having been offended in her profession by the new president and knowing that he will ruin much of what she and her husband had built for the country during their eight years. And Hillary Clinton. The only one of the first ladies who chose the White House for herself. Who chose not only the East Wing but the West Wing. And the Oval Office. For herself and the people. Bravely in her defeat did she attend the ceremonies holding up through the entire day.

And on Saturday Women were Marching in millions in companion with men and every sex you can think of, not only in the U.S. Because there is a time for being stoic. And there is a time for acting in power, hope and love.