206 465 0540. I have loved my Seattle number. The figures. In what order they come. The shape of it. The sound of it. The fit in my mouth while saying it out loud. I can even whisper it just to come close. We, a perfect match.
206 made me a Seattleite. 465 0540 was me.
After cleaning out my Seattle storage and selling the car (although the money for it actually never showed up…) in summer 2017 I have continued letting go. Last year i closed my bank account and this July I cancelled my Seattle Times subscription. Although the paper is really generous when it comes to headlines and preambles, even a free article now and then so I can still keep myself pretty updated.
I am not sure when I bought my first phone in Seattle, actually my first cell phone ever. It might have been in 2000. 206 465 0540. Love at first sight. A Pay as You Go of course, since I wasn’t a resident. Through all these years I have seen to to always have some money on the account, that’s how I’ve been able to keep the same number.
During the years I was commuting between my two homes being back in Seattle 2-3 times a year I refilled when I was there. Later, I’ve saved my number every September. 100 $ and I’ve been good to go another year.
The last few years though I have hesitated. Will I ever be back? No, probably not. But what if? Hope. Am I allowed to keep the hope? And so I have. Last year I missed the date with two days. In panic I called ATT and a kind agent helped me getting my number back. My number.
September 7 was the date 2019. And I didn’t refill. It was time, finally. Letting go of my Seattle citizenship. One day I will call that number. Kind of to meet an ex’s new woman. But not now. When I am ready.
I have totally accepted that my Seattle dream life will never happen. The time for it is way over. It’s harder for me to accept the fact that it did not happen. I’m not dwelling over it though, not any more. I am keeping Seattle on a distance.
Yet. A couple of days ago an evening-lit-up Seattle downtown picture passed by on Facebook. They do of course, most every day. But something in this pic just pulled me in. I was standing at 5th Avenue a chilly December night after having a delicious dinner at Palomino. And it was like someone punched me in my stomach. I lost my breath. Overpowered by the insight of how deep and strong my feelings for Seattle are. And how I am surpressing them.