Aug 27, 2017

My one super power

- Imagine the open spot and there will be one!
Never, I said, raising my eyebrows frowning, not a chance…

During my years in Seattle I used to work out at Gold’s Gym at the Convention Center downtown. I parked in the garage underneath, which is huge. My experience from parking anywhere, Seattle or Umeå, was there were never open spots where I needed them to be, close to where I was heading. Therefore, in this garage, I always ended up grabbing the first open space there was. Which gave me quite a walk in a place that wasn’t my choice for such a thing.

Now, I was complaining to a friend about this. And that’s when he uttered those words:  Imagine the open spot and there will be one. Meaning I would drive all the way to the Convention Center entrance through the garage and there would be an open space for me. Yeah, good luck with that…

I knew people who had this kind of luck. My at that time husband was one of those. He always drove to any entrance he was heading for, and if there wasn’t an open spot someone would pull right out in front of him and, magic, there it was! For me, always having to walk blocks and blocks, this was extremely annoying. And the worst part was, he didn’t even see the problem. Why are people going on and on about parking, there is always parking! (Now this applied for most things in his life, which to be fair, of course made me, who walked block and blocks in any aspect, furious).

Anyway, one morning after dropping the kids off at school, driving my usual route downtown to the gym, I decided to take a chance. I didn’t grab the first open space, I grabbed the second. Next time the third. I started visualizing spots deeper in to the garage labyrinth, and one morning I was so close I could see the entrance. And there was a spot. I can still sense the stunned joy. Really?! I parked feeling like I was steeling someone’s private space. Someone more prominent than me.

From that point I started visualizing an entrance spot from the moment I entered the garage. And most of the time there was one. Eventually I learned to trust there would be a space for me. I drove through the garage with a new confidence. And I parked at the entrance like I owned the space. Ha!

As time and years passed I finally wasn’t acting like a tourist in the Seattle traffic any more, I abounded the garages and parking lots to become an acclimatized Seattleite hunting for “easy street parking”. There is definitely nothing easy about street parking, but eventually I learned to master pulling in and out of those snug parking pockets, and even more, I made them show up! At especially difficult destinations I started visualizing even before I left the house. I became so skilled even my native Seattle friends were impressed!

As I’ve mentioned many times before Seattle and Umeå carry similarities, only on different scales. Parking is one of them. Especially with all the construction going on. Finding an open spot at Storgatan is like hunting for one on Broadway.

I don’t drive any more, my back can’t do it. But I am often a passenger. As I can rarely walk more than only a few meters my drivers need to park as close to my destination as possible. When my errands require a downtown visit, Storgatan is the only option for me. That’s when my drivers start to get nervous.

I am not though. It’s gonna be alright I tell them. Crossing the Umeå River on one of the bridges I start focusing. I stop the conversation and I visualize an empty parking space. Sometimes there is. But more often there isn’t. I tell my drivers to go slow and be patient. Come on come on come on, I am thinking. And there, someone, often two, are pulling out and we can choose which spot works best for us!

Always? Pretty much. The only time it doesn’t work is when I get caught up in our conversations and forget to concentrate. Or at the University hospital. That’s such a jam packed place even I get nervous. I loose my confidence in the positive outcome. And also, my focus is blurred with the reason for me visiting the hospital leaving me anxious, my mind not entirely on parking. 

Now, as visualizing parking spots has become this successful I am pondering, is there any way I can expand the business? If this works it might be possible to apply in other fields too, right? It should, shouldn't it? Well, I am working on the rain… Visualizing it stopping for the few minutes my breakfast and dinner walks last when I can take them. And how does that go? Well I would say! A rainy day, I can usually trust it to hold for my walks!

So, if I can make parking spots show up and rains to stop, what more can my super power do?

Aug 20, 2017

A summer afternoon in a changing Umeå

A sunny day with an ice cream in Rådhusparken, to remember when the darkness folds around me!

It’s been a year since I last was downtown Umeå. The reasons are two, and in combination they make it very hard for me. The first reason is that most of the time I can only walk a few meters. And although downtown Umeå is just a few blocks, it’s way too much for me. The second reason is the constant city center construction work that makes it impossible to park anywhere within walking distance to where I need to be.

Construction work in a city, wether it is Umeå or Seattle, we know as a sign of development. To me, it is a healthy sign. Places not developing are usually stagnated or even dead. There is no moving forward. Sometimes development can be too much of course. Too fast and too cruel. And sometimes, like in Seattle, the constant flow of people moving in from other places can be overwhelming and too much when it comes to housing and infrastructure. 

Umeå is growing too. And there is a lot of redesigning in the city center. It all started when Umeå was applying to become The European Capital of Culture. The appointment enhanced the process which is still ongoing, three years after carrying the title in 2014. Changes are difficult and there has been quite some criticism of new architecture and parks not looking the way they used to.

This is the second summer in a row where Rådhustorget (the City Hall Square) right at the heart of downtown is fenced in with something looking like crush barriers. The open inviting place with fresh fruit stands and people sitting down having an ice cream is behind bars and the whole area feels unfriendly and impossible to navigate.

The protracted redesign of Rådhustorget has taken it’s toll on the downtown shopping. Closing (temporary, but still long-spun) the main artery for cars moving through the area doesn’t help. Many stores have had to close, and of course it’s not H&M and alikes but small local and very dear businesses leaving.

I have not been able to follow what’s going on first hand as I am never in the city center, but I am reading the papers, watching renderings of what to be. Very much like how I am following the changes of Seattle, come to think about it. Funny, I’m only 20 minutes from downtown Umeå and about 20 hours from Seattle! Both far away though.

Sometimes I have errands to run downtown. They tend to linger on my to do list forever though it’s such a hazard for me getting to it. Lying on my couch here at the end of the road the feel of trying to get it done such a weight on me. Dark, cold, wet, icy, slippery. And you never know where you can drive and park. So the trick is to plan for it during the light and non-slippery part of the year.

Summer 2017 has been crappy weather wise. But this Thursday delivered a sunny 66° (19°C) afternoon, and it wasn’t even that windy, what a treat! And Mohammed - who works here Monday and Thursday afternoons accompanying me to my treatments - and me headed for downtown, finally. We managed to find a parking and my back allowed me to do all the errands on my list, check!

It’s funny though how I am still trapped in old pattens from when I could drive and live a movable life. In a store, browsing, I find myself thinking I don’t have to make up my mind buying (a crazy nail polish) or not just now, I’ll wait for the next time. You would think, after soon five years on my couch I would know there won’t be a next time. Well, I remembered and bought the polish, intense and glossy turquoise.

Content with check on my to do list and still some minutes left, Mohammed and I bought an ice cream. We walked the few steps from the hostile Rådhustorget to Rådhusparken, the park connecting the city center to the Umeå River. We sat down on a bench in the upper part of the park, finalized last fall. Of course I haven’t been there before so I was very curious about the outcome which I know some have critized. 

I couldn’t walk around in the park, but what I could see I liked. And I loved the moment. The surprise summer afternoon. The delicious ice cream. The view of the park and the river. The feeling of being one among other Umeå residents taking the opportunity of a gorgeous day. 

And enjoying the company of Mohammed who fled here from Bagdad in 1915 and. As one of few in that stream of refugees he now has a permanent residence permit. It happened a month ago. Mohammed I say, if you are still in Umeå in ten years you can tell your children you came here when the city was changing. Yes, Mohammed says, when it was all built and redesigned. And it will all be good, he says. Rådhustorget, the park, life. It will all be good, everything.

Aug 13, 2017

5 year barbecue anniversary!

It was five years ago now that Jenny and Hannes, Ondina and Gunnar moved in to the two houses up for sale on my road. 20 years since the last rotation in my neighborhood it was exciting, and my new neighbors turned out to be wonderful people. That summer Jenny, Ondina and me organized the first Torrbergsvägen barbecue, something that’s now an annual tradition!

Torrbergsvägen (Dry Mountain Road) is my road, in my village. It sits at the foot of Torrberget, Dry Mountain. There are seven households at the road, plus two nearby at the main road leading through the village. And the barbecue takes place at my place. That’s where he sun lingers the longest, at my front yard.

By that time I had lived here for 32 years, and I feel a shame to admit that the residents of Torrbergsvägen had never come together before during all those years. Summer as winter, mostly we had waved to each other when driving by our houses. And saying a brief hi when out walking. 

So, on our first barbecue event the situation was new and we frankly didn’t know each other that well. But two new families was a perfect reason to change that circumstance!

Over the years the event has happened at different times during the summer. As Jenny, Ondina and me have been the organizers, our calendars have to match. And since I am not able to host a thing like this on my own, I need Trouble & Trouble and girlfriends to be part of it as well. More calendars to take into account. It’s a puzzle! And then there is the weather of course…

Unfortunately Jenny and Hannes eventually felt my village in the woods wasn’t the perfect place for them, they longed for the sea! I was very sad when they left with their new little baby this winter. On top of that, Magnus and his super sweet 8-year old son Loke also left Torrbergsvägen in the spring. Magnus used to work for my home care company and has been a great safety to me, this winter he was a darling shoveling the snow at my house whenever I needed. So another great loss.

However, they all promised to come back for the summer barbecue, something to look forward to! And so 2017 again, there were two new families at the road, another very good reason to continue the tradition. Since my back hasn’t been cooperative when it comes to walking I had barely met my new neighbors!

Weather wise this summer has been really crappy. Not one single high pressure giving us some days of stable warm weather. No, rain every other day and low temperatures.  But Friday morning the sun was out and 68° (20°C), hallelujah!

For me, spending 90% of my time alone in my house, suddenly having my front yard full of people is kind of overwhelming. A little bit unreal. Although so nice.

Five of the households at Torrbergsvägen have ancient history in my village, we have been here for generations and generations, me and my children as well. Four families have moved in, including the two from this year. And then Jenny, Hannes and Magnus were back, so it was a really interesting mix invading my little kingdom this Friday afternoon. 

And how fun it was! Clouds took over the skies while the food sizzled on the five barbecues and laughters and intense chatting filled my front yard. But the rain stayed away! The new families altogether have seven children, so suddenly there are a lot of kids on the block, this evening cart wheeling on my lawn, running on my fields, finding tiny frogs in my ditches! I feel that everyone really made an effort to make our new neighbors feel welcome and a part of our neighborhood.


And it’s interesting, because I have a sense our summer tradition is more appreciated for every year. Old and young at age, old and young at our road, everyone seems to really enjoy the evening and each other’s company. Five years have gone by pretty quickly, so let’s go for five more at least!


Aug 6, 2017

Letting go of my dream life/the Stratus part 2

- And by the way, tell your son I don’t want the car back.

Trouble 2 and Audrey were going to spend May in Seattle and the plan was they would drive my Dodge Stratus. That’s why I kept it all those years, so that anyone in my family temporarily staying in Seattle would have access to a car.

I had been in touch with David who co owned the Stratus with me and has been a very patient care taker, to make sure the car was available, and it was. Then, as Trouble 2 was flying in, David told me he didn’t want the Stratus back. The family was going to leave Seattle.

This was a bit chocking news. I wasn’t ready to give up my beloved Seattle car and on top of that I did not want to spoil Trouble 2’s vacation with mom-problems. Leaving Umeå for a while is getting space and not having to be on red alert for what ever can happen around a disabled mother. But here we were, acute car situation.

I tried to take care of as much as possible from here. Could we find someone who would need a car? No, all our people had enough cars, and also the Stratus seemed to have declined rapidly the last few years. Really sad realizing I had to give up this big part of my Seattle, I figured the easiest way to get rid of the car (yes, that’s where I was at now), was to sell it back at the Aurora strip where I bought it ten years ago. That didn’t work at all. They didn’t buy if I didn’t want to buy. Bummer.

The situation was acute since Trouble 2 only was there for a few weeks. How the heck could I solve this?! My stress levels were rising rapidly.

I got a tip from David about a company, CarMax, which evaluates cars. Trouble 2 drove all the way up to Lynnwood where the only office was, and yes, they would give 300 dollars for it!

The exclamation mark is for the yes, not for the money, they barely covered the new starter engine I had to buy to get it going. The important thing here was they would  accept the car on their lot! That evening I was able to breath out and sleep pretty sound.

Only to the day after finding out I was the only owner of the car! This was just the weirdest thing! Ten years ago we added David as owner as that’s what the insurance company Geico required. For all these years the car was ensured by Geico, but now it turned out David was never on the title, and neither they or we had noticed!

So, the sole owner is in Sweden, that shouldn’t be a huge problem though, couldn’t I just email some kind of proxy? I am generally perceiving myself as a pessimist, but I am more and more realizing I am often too optimistic.

Because I was wrong again. A Power of Attorney was required. And CarMax told med the form had to be certified at the American Embassy. Which is in Stockholm. That night I didn’t sleep. And my heart was raising. Against the clock as days were passing. Also, I know from experience how hard it is to get any kind of contact with the U.S embassy, sure they would appreciate a knock on the door for selling an old car! There had to be another way.

There was. The Public Notary. I found the one in Umeå, a lot of paper work was done and I relaxed for a moment. Only to learn that CarMax did not approve of a Swedish lawyer as Public Notary, it had to be someone with an American degree!  

Which is ridiculous! As there would be American lawyers in every city all over the world waiting around to sign papers for important transactions like a car affair for 300 $!

I can’t even describe these weeks. I was so wired up, in total frenzy with a jumping heart as I just had to get this done before Trouble 2 was flying out of Seattle! I mean he couldn’t dump the car at the roadside somewhere or drive it down Lake Union, although God knows every option was on my mind here!

So what did I do? I educated myself about the Convention of Public Notary drafted by the Hauge Convention October 5 1961, now signed by 114 countries. And then I educated CarMax, a nationwide American corporation. Which obviously didn’t have a clue!

Meanwhile they were chewing on this I sent the Power of Attorney - which was now on David as time was passing and Trouble 2 wouldn’t still be in Seattle at the arrival of the paper works. As the letter had to travel by snail mail.

It was a Tuesday Trouble 2 was leaving. CarMax Lynnwood had been expecting a response from Corporate for more than a week. I had nervously been checking in with them every day. 20 minutes before Trouble 2 pulled up at the CarMax office the response finally arrived. Yes, they would approve of David as my Power of Attorney and they would keep the car on their lot until the paper works arrived!

Hallelujah! I can’t even describe the relief in which my lights were out that night. Yes, in addition, as Umeå is 9 hours before Seattle the communication was mostly after my midnight.

But breathing out? No no. Although the Power of Attorney was a registered letter it took two weeks before it showed up in David’s mail box! It seemed to have been stuck in the customs.

My Dodge Stratus is now finally not mine anymore. And it makes sense it was as hard to get rid of as to get. There is one piece missing though. The transfer of the 300 $ to my Swedish bank account. An international transfer is a lot of numbers and letters to fill in at the right boxes . The money should have been here more than a month ago. 

And I can’t get a hold of David. I don’t think he has taken off with my fortune. He might just be in the middle of the move from Seattle. And if I never hear from him again I am thinking that money will serve as compensation for the grand job he has done keeping my dream alive for ten years.

So, how do I feel now, when the dream is dead? Well, one good thing came out of this car selling experience. It was such a nerve wrecking ordeal I am just extremely happy and grateful it is over. And accepting Seattle will never be a part of my life the way I dreamed of is a little bit easier. And. I can start feeling a sense of gratitude for the years I had. I thought they would be the prologue. But it turns out they were the story.