I think I am getting stupider. Is that even a word? Yeah, you see…

I think it started already many years ago when I had to give up the main daily Swedish newspaper Dagens Nyheter as they stopped distributing the weekend edition outside Umeå. That’s when I didn’t have endless access to long in depths articles waiting for me on my kitchen table anymore.

The next step I would say was when I had to move my dinners from my kitchen to my couch. In my former life I always listened to Swedish National Radio while preparing dinner. Often I enjoyed music while eating, but a lot of times I got caught up in some interesting public service program and just stayed with it. At the same time I had to give up driving my car, and so my other slot for radio listening disappeared.

For a while now I have reluctantly noticed how I shy away from lengthy mind challenging texts in my local newspaper. Västerbottens Kuriren have the most amazing  editor for cultural arts. Sara Meidell is as sharp as a swordfish and her articles are always interesting and defiant. It used to be that I read everything, even if the subject wasn’t quiet my area of interest. Today I find myself selecting only the ones I feel connected to. And same goes for the op.ed. Ola Nordebro, also a bright mind and an excellent writer.

As company for my couch dinners I am choosing comfort TV. I first got aquatinted with Grey’s Anatomy during the season premiere season in Seattle September 2012. My Queen Anne penthouse city view identical to the one on the TV screen next to it. It was the season beginning with the horrible plain crash when Marc Sloan and Lexie Grey died. Back in Sweden I started following the series and have since then.

It’s the reruns which are on in time for my dinners. By now, I have watched all seasons many times, but as they are so many, when they start all over again at season 1, it feels like long time no see George and Izzy who are also long dead and gone. Old friends who I have been missing. So I am in this loop which I have a hard time leaving. Not that it’s bad for me. But I can’t say it’s moving me forward making my mind sharper.

I haven’t really experienced my brain being soggy until this winter though. I think it has been a slow insidious process sneaking up on me. So what has changed recently?

It comes down to two words. Donald Trump.

As I have mentioned before I have been watching CNN most every weekday since the election. The purpose has been to keep track of the spider in the room. I am not a big consumer. 30 minutes a day, before the 7.30 PM Swedish National Television news. So I say.

The fact is those 30 minutes are often extended. Sometimes to a full hour. Frequently to a full hour I have to admit. Which means I am dropping the Swedish lo key sensible resonating view of the news world for Sean Spicer. Yeah.

Every day I am promising myself a more healthy diet, but I just can’t help myself! I mean, Wolf Blitzer announcing a press briefing will be coming up soon, there is no way I can not wait for that one! Even worse is that it’s hardly news anymore, it’s plain freaking entertainment!

I don't blame CNN, not at all. They are doing a good job, especially considering the circumstances. It’s not CNN’s fault that my brain has turned into a slow dough mixer. No, it’s the fact that the reporting has it’s core in a president who’s vocabulary is (according to language experts) at the level of a 9-year old. And his capacity for thinking in consequences has to be even lower on the scale. Analyzes, does he even know that word? And telling truth from lies?

This week a reporter asked Sean Spicer during a briefing if the they could trust the president. Is he telling the truth? Sean Spicer turned into Melissa McCarthy and screamed repeatedly OF COURSE HE DOES!!! UNLESS HE ISN’T JOKING!

Come on, there is no way I could trade a Swedish union leader for a moment like that! Let’s face it, this White House has really turned into a comedy TV series and I don’t want to miss a single episode. It becomes very clear though, as Angela Merkel stands beside Donald Trump for the press conference on Friday, that this is for real. And that, is both frightening and embarrassing.

Zapping back to Swedish TV after my daily CNN (half) hour I feel like I have been in a candy store to long. A little bit sick. Craving carrots.

So is there anything good for me coming out of this media diet? Well, I feel like I am more connected to the English language than I have been for a while. As I haven’ been back in Seattle for many years and I am not educated by my very articulate and verbally talented friends there any more, I can tell my English is turning poor. But in spite of Donald Trump and Sean Spicer I feel a slight improvement. For which I have to thank Wolf Blitzer, his panel and their engaged analyzes.

So what can I do about my soggy brain? Well I have decided on reading Sara Meidell’s and Ola Nordebro’s lengthy texts in my local news paper even when I feel a slight resistance. And there are days when I can definitely squeeze in the afternoon Swedish National Radio before the Grey’s Anatomy reruns. That’s a start. Let’s see what it brings.

Reality looking like absurd entertainment

No, my rule isn’t working for me, not at all.

Since my PTSD light at the presidential election I, for sanitary reasons, have allowed my self to watch CNN for not more than half an hour a day. To keep track of the spider in the room. I was naively hoping (although not believing) things would calm down after the inauguration. As we all no, it didn’t.

I can’t believe it’s only been a week since I last wrote on this topic. The manic tempo in which this man is ruining his country and the already devastating impact his actions have on the people and the world is…again, unprecedented.

Wolf Blitz and his panel is on at my 7PM, perfect after dinner TV slot. It’s 1PM in Washington, which means it’s most often press conference or briefing room time. In other words, that’s when it happens.

For me, a former journalist who used to be commuting between Sweden and the U.S. for about two decades, it’s impossible to not follow the scene. I might also add I have watched most TV-series located in the White House over the years. And it’s here things get really messed up.

Every evening I am thinking no CNN tonight, I just don’t have the time for it and it makes my heart race and muscles tense. But than again, today it’s press secretary Sean Spicer’s first press conference. And the next day Trump at the Republican’s retreat. And then there is Theresa May visiting the White House. So of course I am watching. Day after day. 

I wake up in the morning asking myself what will he come up with today? Knowing I will find out in the evening. So, it’s like I am watching a drama series daily episode, addicted to it. Only, this is not fiction. No scriptwriter would ever have come up with such a story. This is reality. I am watching reality looking like fiction momentarily. It’s happening right now but it looks like some kind of absurd entertainment. No wonder I fall asleep and wake up as a mess.

Right now my Seattle friends are getting ready for an emergency rally at Westlake Park tonight, supporting the immigrants. Mayor Ed Murray called Wednesday “the darkest day in immigration history” since the internment of Japanese Americans as President Trump signed an order cracking down on so-called “sanctuary cities” for undocumented immigrants. He also stated “The executive order signed today by the president has put our nation toward a constitutional crisis,” promising to use any legal means to fight it. As a sanctuary city Seattle won’t back down.

And this morning, at a chaotic SeaTac airport governor Jay Inslee held a terribly upset speech towards Donald Trump and his administration, watched more than 9 million times and counting. 

I am talking to Trouble 2 about this last week. We agree on (desperately) that one good thing possibly coming out of this is the fact it is all happening so rapidly may cause that much disturbance in society having more Jay Inslees and Ed Murrays speaking up acting, hopefully making people surrounding Donald Trump realizing the country might collapse. But then I put CNN on… only to find Donald Trump saying all the airports are working great. There are no problems. And experts stating it’s most likely that the ban on the now 7 countries is only the beginning.

I have been in the Green Card Lottery for many years, not winning. At this point, would I even want a Green Card? No. I wouldn’t.

But please watch Governor Jay Inslee to see that there is resistance!

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