Oct 29, 2017

Me too/part 2

Meanwhile the world is flooded with Me too-stories, more prominent men with famous faces is dragged out of their dark hidings. Some are not that surprising to me. Others, the kind of homegrown the-boy-next-door family types a bit more chocking. One thing is clear thoguh, they are everywhere. And we haven’t even seen the top of the ice berg I am sure. 

A while ago a young woman close to me told me about her latest visit at a club. Her stories made my jaws drop. 

She had been at this club with a girlfriend and they had been dancing. Because that’s what you do at a club. The two of them had been dancing together. Men had been circling them coming up from behind getting way to close. The two friends told them they weren’t interested and tried pushing them away. That didn’t help much. They fought to save each other from those intrusive males, and they even had to save women they didn’t know on the dance floor!

At one point the young women were sitting together at a table and two guys in their forties (my friend is 25) were approaching them. Started some kind of odd conversation. Again, my friend expressed they weren’t interested in their company and tried to ignore them. The men didn’t waver. Just stood their. And then one of them started licking his lips while looking at them.

I was absolutely stunned being conveyed this image from a club in 2017. Is this how it is now?!

In my youth I wasn’t a big club girl. Well, it wasn’t clubs, it was disco, of course. I really loved dancing and I knew all the Staying Alive-moves. I wasn’t comfortable in the environment though. I was tall and skinny and shy and nobody wanted to dance with me anyway. I was the one sitting in a corner at the table taking care of all my friends handbags while out on the dance floor. It wasn’t that much fun.

So, I don’t have any early experiences of being approached in inappropriate ways dancing and bar hopping. And I haven’t had an opportunity asking any of my more outgoing friends my age about their experience back then. Is this the way it has always been?

I don’t think so. As girls do, we always shared our stories and I don’t remember anything in the neighborhood of what I am realizing is going on out there right now.

What I am hearing today, is men/guys acting more or less like animals in a public setting. I don’t even have words for it. Is the world spinning back words? I can’t even say: has nothing changed? No, it seems things have changed in the wrong direction and for the worst. It’s outrageous. And you men out there heading for a night out, if you don’t start acting like respectful human beings you will be looking at a future with only men on the dance floor, are you sure that’s what you want?

No, we haven’t even seen the top of the ice berg. But what we see and what we hear now is actually causing repercussions in the society. But we have to continue telling our stories. Dragging every single (in this sense) dysfunctional male out of the dark. Being persistent. Raise our sons to good men. I want that ice berg to melt all the way down and make room for a solid ground where respectful men and and safe women can build an equal and good world together. Let's do it.

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