Roses are exploding the cover of my journal for this new year. Roses in strong, crisp and powerful colors. Finding that journal I felt energy and inspiration running into my body. Yes, this will be my 2016 journal! This is what I want to hold in my hands and close the day with! This is what I need to take me through this year, the year when I am turning 60. And starting my life without my support and guide Eva. And will be done with a big film project I’ve been working on for 2,5 years. The feeling of 2016 at that time was an empty hole.
It sounds silly, but I really think it was the rose covered journal that changed the energy. Suddenly I felt like there could be something in there. Yes, Eva won’t be there, but maybe I am strong enough now to do this by myself? And the film will be done, but it will give me time on my hands and what can I do with that? I am turning 60, but might I also turn that into a good thing? Can I make my 60-year anniversary the year of my bucket list?
I do have a bucket list. For obvious reasons my bucket doesn’t contain mountain climbing and traveling the world. My bucket needs to contain things within reach, as well as I could preferably handle them myself. The latter is somewhat hard to fulfill, but there is actually this one thing I think could work. And that happens to be my priority nr.1.
In 2002 I had a photo show at the Nordic Heritage Museum in Seattle. It was big, 44 B&W pictures and 8 color, and it was commissioned by the museum. In 2007 the regional museum in Umeå, Västerbottens museum, also put up it up for display.
The show is pictures from Seattle and my little Swedish village in the woods, and the name is Away is Home, Home is Away. It was produced in a basement at Boyer Avenue and a laundry room under the roof of my Swedish in the woods-home. For years now, the show has been stored in boxes in my office, which is too bad because I am actually really proud of my work.
The pictures are now digitalized (thank you Trouble & Trouble + girlfriends!), waiting on a hard drive for me to start the next part of their lives. The prio nr.1 on my bucket list is to make a book out of the show. I have all the parts since the display, texts in Swedish and English, it’s just putting it together. I don’t imagine there is much of an audience for Seattle and a small Swedish village, so the idea is very few copies, basically one for me and one for each son. And that’s gonna happen!
Nr. 2 is another book. The original idea was putting together texts I have written over the years (not the blog) accompanied by my photography, arranged for every text. But as I can’t shoot any more I would love Trouble 1 to illustrate for me. Which means it’s not entirely in my hands. So we’ll see.
Nr. 3 is even more tricky. Since my early twenties I have written quite a few songs. At first I was writing lyrics to existing music, but over the years I have come to create a number of melodies too. They are folksy ballads, except for the ones in English which are more ballads than folksy. At the soon to be age of 60 I feel it’s time to sing them. I really really would like to sing them. I am not so concerned about my voice any more, I feel it’s more about telling the stories. But to do that, I would need to find one or two musicians who would like the idea of my stories too. And there I am lost. And too embarrassed to bother anyone with my bucket dream.
PS. Of course turning 60 is a good thing! I had a cancer scare right before Christmas, but I was spared this time. I am okay, relieved and very grateful and happy to still be here and going towards 60.