I have been having
two hot dreams for this summer 2013, both beyond the reach. Since it is the
20-year anniversary between my family and Seattle, I wanted to take all my
kids, sons and girlfriends, and fly over. There is the picture of Trouble 1
& Trouble 2 in front of the skyline at Kerry Park at the age of 5 and 7,
and then another one at 15 and 17. For ten years I have been planning for the
one at 25 and 27. But it’s not going to happen. Too expensive, and Trouble 2
and Audrey just moved back from Paris (yes they have!) and don’t really feel
like traveling. And also, of course, I am yet not flyable. So, I just have to
let that one go, it is not going to happen.
Dream nr 2
occurred when I got to know that Sting was going to be in concert at Dalhalla
this summer, the most spectacular out door concert venue in Sweden. I love
Sting. What can I say, I just love him. This amazing songwriter, musician,
singer and creative director for his different magical music projects. I have
most of his albums, and of course my sons grew up with Sting on the loud
speakers in their home. Over the years Trouble 1 and I have shared the dream once
to hear Sting live. Trouble 1”: it’s never going to happen mom!” Me: “It is
going to happen at some point, we are going to see Sting, be patient.”
So, this spring
Trouble 1 suddenly announced: “mom, I quite don’t know how to say this, but Fay
(girlfriend) and I are going to see Sting this summer. At Dalhalla.”
What?! STING? At
DALHALLA?! One of those is absolutely good enough, but together!!! Since then
my desire for this occasion has been unlimited and the possibilities for it to
happen zero. A utopia.
Zero because there
was no way for me to get there. Mostly. Could I even sit in a car for eight
hours? And was there still tickets available?
Yes it was. And
because of that, the utopia stuck with me as glued. I just couldn’t let it go.
Now, two months ago there had been no way for me to make a trip like this. But
June arrived with a bit more stability in my pelvis and changed the utopia into
a dream.
Perhaps my friends
Mats and Agneta would be heading that direction to visit grandpa and grandma at
that time? No, one week later. Peter, my home care angel, didn’t he need a mini
vacation? Indeed he did, but wasn’t a Sting fan and didn’t feel like driving
eight hours one direction even though I asked very politely, equally was
extremely stubborn, pushy and persistent for days. His response was no. Damn!
But. I have this
special friend who is the most flexible person you could ever find and her
possibility to swing most everything is extraordinary. One week before the
concert I called Eva. Sting? Well, she wasn’t a big Sting fan either, but she
had never seen Dalhalla, so why not?
Can you imagine my
unimaginable joy at this response?!
Wednesday Eva and
I headed south. Dalhalla is located in the region Dalarna, at the lake Siljan,
one of the most beautiful and picturesque areas in Sweden. I have been here
many many times before, hanging out with dear friends, listening to music at
the yearly festivals. First as a young light-hearted woman, then as a
responsible mother and wife. Now I am returning after 15 years. There has been
a divorce. Children growing up. Parents lost. Cancer. Unrequited love. Oceans
of time in yearning for being a regular working member of our society, when
trapped in a no good body of constant pain. It’s been grief, it's been being brave, and it's been trying my very best.
Back now, I am
treating myself with two nights at a really nice hotel in the most idyllic of
places around Siljan, Tällberg. The light-hearted girl stayed deep in the woods
in a cottage with an outhouse. The mother-wife at a practical cabin park where
the kids ran around in safe chaos. The after-all-that Maria in a resort with a
nice restaurant, spa and beautiful indoor pool.
Thursday evening
July 4 (could there be a better way celebrating when not in Gasworks Park?) I
am finding my seat in the arena. Dalhalla is an old quarry, naturally shaped as
an amazing amphitheatre. Eva helps me make the seat as comfortable as possible
for me. I am not at my best. 80% of my focus is on the pain. But I am here.
With Eva. Trouble 1 and Fay are sitting ten rows beneath, waiving at us. And
Sting is entering the stage. Exactly on time.
It is unreal. The
pain makes it hard for me to focus. It is Sting, down there, at the bottom of
the quarry. He is for real. This is for real. That soft sandpaper voice and mumbling
articulation, which covers every emotion on my life’s scale. I am closing my
eyes. I am looking up the rough walls of the quarry. The light evening sky
(yes, this is Sweden, the summer evening is light). The crowded arena. I catch
a glimpse of a shining happy son ten rows down. Our old dream has come true.
It’s unreal, real, amazing and beautiful.
I am squeezing
Eva’s hand. Thanking her for doing this for me. Making summer 2013 dream nr 2
come true.
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