2019: I want things!/So thank you for now

Do you remember this one?

http://homeisawayawayishome.blogspot.com/2019/01/2019-i-want-things.html

It’s been percolating in me for a while: do I really want spending every Sunday writing my blog?

The main reason for this question is the fact that my body has been doing better for a good while. Jinx jinx, that could change any minute, so knock knock knock knock on every piece of wood within reach. But as a result of this improvement my days are a bit changed. 

Right now the afternoon sun is for the first time this winter reaching my west window finding my eyes here on the couch at the end of the road. It might not have happened before because it’s been cloudy. It could also be though that I haven’t been on the couch at this time. Because I am more moveable. Not every day. But some.

This is good news. This is really good news. This is wonderful news.

Thus, I am moving around a bit. Sometimes sitting a little while at my desk in my office. Sometimes at my dining table in my yellow kitchen. Spending time at other locations in my house than my couch gives me opportunities for other activities. Different activities. I am exploring long buried memories of creativity from ancient times. Times when I could go 24-7 on tasks like being in the dark room, sew a suit or sit at the piano crafting a song.

OK, hold your horses! Or hold my horses I should say. I am not DOING these things! I am only thinking about them. But finding these memories makes my mind reach further than my couch. Beyond my computer, a lit up screen and a dark keyboard. What could I do? And what do I want to do? What is my mind, heart and soul missing and longing for? 

I have answers to these questions. I won’t share them with you though, not at this point. I would love to when I have realised one or two of them, so wait for it!

But to make room for other aspects of my creativity I need to make a change for myself. I need to clear my Sundays. Maybe not all of them, but some. 

This is truly a big change. For 7 years and 4 months I have been writing my blog every week. Home is Away, Away is Home. I have been sharing stories about my two cities Umeå and Seattle. I have been reporting about politics. And I have been letting you in to my personal life. A life which has gone through hardships and joy, changes and stagnation. You might have experienced me open and transparent, and that’s correct. Still, what’s most important to me I can’t share. Out of consideration to other people, and maybe also to myself.

In this moment I am struck by anxiety. Can I do this? I love writing, and even though my English is far from perfect and pretty plain, publishing a text every week is great practise. Also, I have had a chancel for formulating and sharing stories, for expressing myself in words, something that is essential to me. Can I be without that?

I don’t have any followers. Yet I know some people are reading my postings. The Blogger statistics is impossible to figure out so I don’t know how many. That doesn’t really matter though. I am merely writing for myself. And you and you and you and you. And I am encouraged and grateful to anyone and everyone who has taken time and focus for my stories over the years.

As I am suffering from grave separation anxiety in general this is not a farewell and goodbye. I will not shut down Home is Away, Away is Home. I still want the possibility to write if I have an important subject or just feel like it or miss it too much. I know I am taking a chance though. Continuity has been one of my strengths and probably the most important factor to why people find me.

Three deer are crossing my field at the base of Dry Mountain in the bright afternoon sun. Spring-winter is saying hello. And I would like to thank you, each end everyone for your attention this far. Who knows, I might very well be back next Sunday!

PS. I am wiggly and out of balance. This is scary. Can I get back to you on this?

Umeå and Seattle on the same snowy page

A Seattle Facebook friend is posting a question: Do you remember the 1996 snowstorm?

I sure do. It was when we stayed for a year and the snow hit the day after Christmas and literally put a 1,5 feet wet white blanket over the city causing all kinds of damage including casualties. A whole family died as their house slided out in the Puget Sound. It was all horrible.

I hope this week’s snow adventure isn’t that bad. It’s funny because right now the weather maps for Seattle and Umeå looks the same. 

Last weekend we had about 30 cm (1 foot) of snow in a storm which made authorities advice to not go outside or at least not take the car. Well, when you live on the countryside you have to anyway, there is no other way to get around. But as Trouble 2 was driving me back home from a downtown choir rehearsal I was glad our car has 4 wheal drive, I don’t think we had made it all the way here to the end of the road otherwise. it looked like the Oregon Dunes. Did I mention it was -14C/7°F…?

This weekend the heaven has blessed us with 20 cm more (0,7 foot). Last weekend was powder, but as the temperatures now are around freezing point, it’s a heavy load. I am sure the snow in Seattle is about the same quality.

Because, as it happens, heaven has emptied it’s snow storage in Seattle at the same time as over here. And I can see from friends pictures and Seattle Times it is a lot!

I am grateful though I am here and not in Seattle. For one thing, Umeå is flat. Seattle hilly. That helps. We are equipped, educated and experienced when it comes to driving in snow. Seattleites not so much, for obvious reasons. And plow trucks are working round the clock to not get the city all clogged up.

This is the second winter in a row with lots of snow here on the 64th latitude. It’s beautiful, but difficult when you can’t take care of the snow yourself. On a personal note I am saved by a kind neighbour. Roger comes by every morning and afternoon while walking his dog. He shovels the snow up to my house and he sweeps the front porch. This week he has even been here three times a day. Crafting a perfect path from my gate to the porch. I am so grateful.

I have a measuring point. The poles supporting my cherry trees. Last winter the snow at it’s most covered the shortest of them. 3 feet. As for today, the snow has just reached that point. It isn’t even mid February yet so I am looking forward to a new record. As long as Roger still comes by and lets me out of the house I can allow myself to enjoy the white landscape and the blue February shadows.

My most important story ever

I am very relieved, grateful and happy this weekend. After months in limbo, me and everyone else in Umeå in need of home care can finally relax. We are allowed to keep the companies best suiting us to help us out in our daily lives.

It was in November the news came that the majority in the City Council wanted to change the system for home care. Since 2005 people in need of help in their homes have had a free choice for whom would execute the care, Public City Care or private companies. The cost for the client is the same. 

My experience from the Public City Care was dreadful. Every day new faces. After a month I was totally exhausted and I didn’t feel safe although frequently looked after. I know very many people tell the same stories, which is truly sad. It really shouldn’t be that way.

I switched to a local start up I knew of, Civil Care, owned by to young men, Peter Andersson and Awara Gulani. I was their 6th client, it was more like a family. Today Civil Care has around a hundred employees, nevertheless the heart and love is still there. And they have taken care of me in the best way possible for more than six years now.

So, in November the majority of the Council bursted the bomb that they would cancel the free choice system. Instead the City would decide for the clients. That’s a brief summery of the whole thing.

People in need of care in their home are most often elderly. Men and women who rarely speak up. Or even have the ability to do so. This is a vulnerable group in society. We are a vulnerable group. A quiet and unseen group. Hidden in the shadows.

I was devastated by the news. Civil Care is absolutely essential to my life. They are giving me a life within my limitations! And I new this was scary news to many many more.

In desperation I wrote a long text for publishing on Facebook. Since it was lengthy I didn't expect many in that medium would have the focus span reeding it. I was totally wrong though. Within a couple of days the text was shared around 90 times. It reached people way beyond my network, including politicians. I was stunned.

An intense debate in local media followed. Individuals, politicians and the local private home care companies. Everybody got involved and spoke up. We weren’t in the shadows any more.

The intensity of the debate made things shift. For a while the balance in the Council was even. Until suddenly the party to the left of the Left Party chocked everyone with being in favour of the free choice! 

This Monday the case was up for decision in the City Council. The ultimate shift came already in December, but as anything can happen in politics, the Holidays were nervous to everybody involved. The debate in the Council on Monday was long. But eventually the free choice won the vote. The numbers were 34-30.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying this all happened because of my text, absolutely not! Everybody in favour of the free choice system has done an incredible job here and would have regardless. But for me, I think my story of a vulnerable life depending on help from society is the most important piece I have ever published in any medium. It feels good.